The weight of pee

January 15, 7:00 am: Today, I originally weighed in at 203.4 and rejoiced over my loss of a pound. Yeah! The good news was followed by a short celebration dance. But, once I quickly saw myself in the mirror and realized that what I was seeing wasn’t reason for joy. The dancing stopped. Then I realized that in my rush to weigh-in I had forgotten to going to the bathroom. What? That’s a foundational sin in the world of dieting—weigh in at the same time, in the morning, completely naked, after you’ve gone to the bathroom. I quickly grabbed a Q-Tip and walked to the toilet. Those two don’t necessarily go together, I just like the feeling of clean ears and I usually Q-Tip immediately after a weigh-in (probably more than you wanted to know). Anyway, after urinating like a drunk farm animal I return to my trusty digital scale and remount. Bingo! I pissed away .4 of a pound which is the equivalent weight of my cell phone (wow, that’s an odd image). I know this only because one time I weighed myself while talking on the phone and then re-weighed after my conversation and discovered myself .4 lighter. In case you’re wondering, .4 of a pound in liquid would fill half of a 16 ounce Gatorade bottle (story for another time). When you’re a failed dieter, .4 is a big deal… especially after a day of eating four different meals at four different restaurants.